Hmmm...How do I put this nicely....

Ok...I'm going to vent for a second, but also, try to keep this nice a civil....(might get difficult to do, considering the circumstances!)

It's no secret that every relationship/marriage and friendships have their up's and down's...everybody has them, and if you deny it, then you're just lying to yourself.
Maybe Nick and I are going through one of those "down's" right now...

Life is complicated, and people change as they grow up. Anyone who has gotten married young, knows that you can choose to grow up together, or grow up apart. We are choosing to grow up together!
Sometimes things happen in life that put a crimp in your plans, or make things more difficult. If all relationships were easy, then there wouldn't be any great ones. It would be boring!

4 years ago when we packed up and moved to St. Louis, we were adventurous! We had a sparkle in our eyes for challanging the unknown. We were SOOOOO happy in St. Louis! We loved it there! Everything about it, except that our family and friends weren't there. We had no problem coming back to Cape on the weekends to see everybody. But when I got pregnant with Aubrey, we didn't travel so much, and then once we had her, we traveled even less. Money was TIGHT!!! I didn't go back to work outside of the home, but instead WE decided that I would stay home and care for Aubrey, which was a personal decession between Nick and I. Then winter 2009 came. Nick got laid off...it sucked. We had basically emptied out our savings after my paychecks quit coming and his hours got cut because of the seasonal weather. We were BROKE to say the least. We talked about it for awhile, and decided that the best thing for our daughter was to keep me at home with her, but the only way to do that was to move back to Cape for a little while. We listed our house for sale, packed up and moved in with my mom. We planned on staying here, just until our StL house could sell, then we would buy something down here, and settle in. Well...here we are 1 1/2 years on the market total and still no sale! It's ridiculously frustrating knowing how much money we are loosing on that house!
So let's talk for a second about how this effects "us" in our relationship.
Nick took the first job he was offered, just to get some income for us.
It was a midnight shift, making bascially crap money..but hey, it was something...we planned it to be VERY temporary... :-(
So here's a list of things that I just need to say:
1. I sleep without my husband at least 4 out of 7 night every week.
2. We have to say prayers with our daughter via phone call.
3. I feel like a single parent.
4. I am lonely, most of the time.
5. I miss my best friend.
6. I rarely get to have adult conversations.
7. My school is suffereing because he's not here to help me with Aubrey.
8. He has missed almost every "milestone" she has accomplished so far.
9. When Aubrey and I are awake, he's asleep, when he's awake, he's at work, and we are asleep.
10. My heart feels empty without him here.

Okay....so wipe the tears away from my face, and get past the emotional part....
here's where I might get cranky!

So with all that said, I guess, we have sparked some speculation that things are "not right" with us...or that our marriage is in trouble.
This has prompted people to "search" for answers... or dig around to get us to talk about it.
Well.... if we wanted to talk about it people, we would!!
If anyone wants to know something, they should come out and asked Nick or I, not "ask around" to see if anybody knows anything. They don't!!
So here is the answer to the big questions:

1. Is our marriage in trouble?   NO
2. Are we divorcing/seperating? NO
3. Are we moving back to St. Louis? YES
4. Are we happy and in love? YES very much so.
5. Are we depressed about our financial situation? Definately
6. Is Nick suffering heartache in this too? YES of course, he misses his wife and daughter.
7. Is this anyone's business but ours? Not really but I guess I'm putting it out there to clear the air.



Okay...so if there is nothing more to be asked or said...I'd like to drop the subject and go back to being a happy wife and mother.
 :)


P.S.     I know that there are families that deal with worse situations (ie. Military) and such, but this is breaking my heart, so I want to talk about it. I am not anywhere near strong enough to be apart of a military family. My support and respect goes out to them sooo much! (Just to name a few. Thank you being the strong families that our country needs: Haff Family, Clymer Family, Floyd Family, Farrar Family, Barker Family, we appreciate you and everything you do!)